Recruiters Are Hanging Out At Pokestops And Gyms To Boost Enlistment Numbers

“It’s like shooting fish in a barrel,” says Sgt. Robert Mullberry during a Skype interview with the Gaming Free Press.

“We hang out at these Pokestops and Poke-Gyms, and pretend like we’re just one of the guys catching Pokemon.  Then, when we have a decent crowd we act like we just received a text message from a friend and exclaim ‘holy sh-t a Charizard was caught at the Army recruitment center inside the Valley Mall!'”

Sgt. Mullberry goes on to explain that within ten minutes of doing this scores of teens and young adults suddenly walk into the recruitment center, phones in hand, looking for their Charizards, Dragonairs, or whatever Pokemon they alleged was found at the center.

“Next,” Sgt Mullberry continues,”one of us will speak loudly about a guy who found a Vaporeon, Machamp, and Ivysaur in Afghanistan.  Immediately these young adults start asking where Afghanistan is, and we offer them an all expense paid trip to find Pokemon there.  It’s a really great deal.”

An anonymous source at the Pentagon told the Gaming Free Press: “Recruitment is definitely up after the launch of Pokemon Go.  Our recruiters have seen enlistments increase to over 5000% in the past week alone.”

While its still uncertain if Pokemon Go will become a fast dying fad, many businesses and organizations have jumped on the Pokemon Go band wagon, using the most successful mobile game in history to demonstrate how cool and hip they can be.