November 4, 2024

Kim Jong Un Takes Down 35 Year Old Retro Video Game Record

Pyongyang – North Korea State Media and North Korean citizens have been celebrating the latest ICBM launch from the rogue nation, but one other celebration is strangely absent from the media in the west.  Apparently the supreme leader Kim Jong Un took down the long standing Atari Dragster 2600 record set by Todd Rogers in 1982.

In recent months there has been speculation that Rogers’ original score might not have been legitimate and Atari fans everywhere have tried to reproduced Rogers’ 5.51 time with no luck.  An official statement from the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea read as follows:

The Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un set a new record once again embarrassing American gamers.  During the preparations of the November 30th missile Launch, Un decided to pass the time by playing Activision’s Dragster on the Atari 2600.  On his 3rd attempt he shattered the old record of 5.51 and clocked a time of 5.41 – a full tenth of a second improvement.

While North Korea didn’t provide any substantial proof of the accomplishment, they did provide the above photo and issued a 2nd statement refuting claims that the accomplishment was faked:

The American dogs have blindly accepted the 5.51 time as fact for several decades with no proof.  Their aggression towards proving the score is no more, as photographic evidence of Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un shows the time of 5.41.  Additionally, members of the Central Military Commission witnessed the historic undertaking.

This isn’t the first time North Korea has claimed to do what American gamers cannot.  Previously they have claimed to access Sheng Long from the original Street Fighter II arcade machine, set a new speedrun record of Super Mario Bros., and allegedly beat Missile Command.