Hell’s Angels converging onto to the streets of Los Angeles right now; LAPD and National Guard on alert.
If you’re planning on attending E3, and you don’t have life insurance, you might want to reconsider. Reports are coming in that the San Bernardino faction of the Hell’s Angels are planning to crash the week long video game expo.
“There ain’t nuthin’ like it!” proclaimed Gooch, a 30 year veteran of the Angels, who held a press event at Crab’s Biker Bar. “We can’t wait to pop the skulls of them nerds. Every last one of those freaks are gonna pay!”
When asked what the E3 attendees did to warrant an intrusion on their right to see the latest in video games, Gooch replied “Shut up before I chain choke you out!”
Violence is nothing new to the Hell’s Angels who have worked in recent years to improve their image by participating in a variety of charity inspired biker events. But sources say that crashing this year’s E3 event has been in the planning stages for months. Tony Escalera, the manager of a local Home Depot might have been the first to realize something was amiss.
“I’ve been a manager of Home Depot for 18 months, and an employee for 6 years,” explained Tony while on his smoke break, “we’ve never had so many bikers come in and purchase or shop lift so many lengths of chain, crow bars, and sledge hammers before. That convention center is literally going to be hell on earth.”
Various video game companies have discouraged the usual crowds from attending this year. Sony opted to broadcast their press conference through various movie theaters through out the country in what will probably be a vain attempt to stymie the violence.
The Gaming Free Press reached out to authorities at the Los Angeles Convention Center for comment who assured us that “There will be plenty of parking around the center for the Hell’s Angels, or anyone else who would like to attend the event.”
