66% Of Gamers Seek Emotional Support Dogs After Losing Online

As the World Health Organization recognizes gaming disorders, more and more gamers are seeking the use of emotional support dogs to sooth their nerves and egos after having their asses handed to them while playing online.  A recent inquiry to The Charleston Canine Therapy Institute (CCTI) verified that 66% of Call of Duty players acquired an emotional support dog after the release of the game.

Karl Leaky of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma obtained an emotional support dog shortly after Call Of Duty: WWII was released.

“I just couldn’t function anymore,” explained Karl in a Skype call with the Gaming Free Press.  “I played so lousy online and it really depressed me.  I didn’t even have it in me to watch TV.  I was lucky to get my emotional support dog for free because all of my money is tied up in DLC.”

Online gaming isn’t the only culprit driving the gamer demand for helper dogs.  CCTI reported that 83% of Cup Head players inquired about emotional support dogs within 3 days of purchasing the game.  Of those who inquired, all inquired about deferred financing citing insufficient income to purchase a helper dog, much less pay for its food and check ups.

“It’s particularly unfair to gamers,” explains a representative of CCTI who asked to remain anonymous.  “Gamers can barely afford their games, much less pay for an emotion support dog.  We hope that with the upcoming entitlement reforms that Congress intends to enact will subsidize the purchase and maintenance of all support animals and their owners.”