Criminal Elements Use Two Hour Movie As Window Of Opportunity To Burgle Homes

Star Wars fans are not the only people excited for the release of The Force Awakens this weekend as thousands of criminals are closing watching social media to learn the movie going plans of their next victims.

“The release of the movie couldn’t be more perfect,” explained one burglar who agreed to speak with the Gaming Free Press.  “By having the movie release this close to Christmas we’re gonna have a great haul.  I expect to pick up some iPads, 4k television sets, maybe a PlayStation 4 or an Xbox one.  The movie is going to occupy a lot of people, a lot of people are not going to be home.”

Law enforcement agencies across the country have been discouraging Star Wars fans from sharing their movie watching plans on social media, but that hasn’t stopped the constant chatter.

Detective Matt Mouloy-Chang of the Carter County Sheriff’s department released the following statement: “While holiday thefts are nothing new, this movie is a game changer.  We’re expecting hundreds of 911 calls with people stating that they were robbed while watching the Star Wars movie.  We ask all Star Wars fans to be diligent and not share your movie watching plans.”