After Being Impressed By The Fundraising Efforts Of AGDQ, Pope Declares Saint Barbara The Patron Saint Of Speedrunners

The Vatican – In His Sunday message at Saint Peter’s Basilica, Pope Francis, wearing a purple Twitch emblazoned cassock, declared that in recognition of the efforts of Speedrunners, specifically those who participated and donated to AGDQ, that St. Barbara would hence forth be considered the Patron Saint of Speedrunners.

St. Barbara has traditionally been venerated as the Patron Saint of artillery men and miners, but most Patron Saints are responsible for multiple professions. In addition to the declaration, the prayer to St. Barbara has also been updated:

Saint Barbara, venerated by soldiers and invoked as a protector against lightning, storms, hurricanes, the RNG, poor internet connectivity, and sudden death, pray for us. 

It was reported that the Holy Father spent most of Friday, and Saturday watching the Awesome Games Done Quick stream-athon that was raising money for Prevent Cancer Foundation.  He was particularly awestruck at the crowd reaction when the donation total surpassed $2 million dollars.